5 Stages of Grief2. Anger - This is stupid and unfair. I don't deserve this. I'm not perfect, but I'll be damned if I'm going to put up with this nonsense.
3. Bargaining - If only I could have realized how messed up I was back then. And still am, even though I'm working on it. Maybe if I was different, things wouldn't have gone sour. Maybe if I change, things can still go back to the way they were.
4. Depression - What's the use trying? Ever. All I'll ever get is the same results. I'm so messed up that people can't stand to be around me for extended periods of time.
5. Acceptance - It's fine. I know I'll move past this, and keep walking my path. I have a lot of good qualities, and I know my flaws. I am working to correct these flaws, and be the best I can be. For myself. No one else.
----------------------------------------------------------
Is it possible to go through these things over and over, in a short period of time? And sporadically? Because that's how I feel in dealing with all this. My thoughts go from 1 to 5, in no particular order, and for no particular amount of time.
I'll move past this. I always do. And the cherry on top is that I'm actually taking an active roll in my own happiness. Doing what's best for myself, and putting myself before others for once. Getting more inVOLVED with myself, my passions, and my various outlets.
Still, all this doesn't magically cure this heartache that's eating me up--twisting my stomach into knots--or more specifically, as I imagine it, literally feeling my stomach "fold" and blocking the nerves to my brain that tell me I'm hungry. I sometimes feel like it's not as much the loss of the person, but the loss of having someone to care about. But this, obviously, shows that in caring for someone, I am actually making up for the fact that I don't care about myself.
I need to realize my own worth, and not let anyone make me feel self-conscious again. I need to be confident, and start taking control of my life.
A work in progress
"They say that time heals a broken heart
But time has stood still since we've been apart"
- Ray Charles
Rant
--
" 'Common sense' is merely a stupid absence of imagination and mental flexibility."
- H. P. Lovecraft
L a d y Vermeil - Xyrmielle
--
D-:
i have come into the dready family, after so many years of talk.
--
fuck you
years of talk and then finally doing them took all the world.
--
fuck you
i am still doing them, but i decided in the end to let them go on their own. i have about 14 now, mostly in the back and one on the side of my head. they are nicer and have a good thickness when they naturally form.
--
fuck you
--
D-:
its been awhile.
hm. a long long time back we spoke of dreads....heh
and i thought i could say that i am finally doing mine in december.
our hopes and dread dreams come true.
hope things are well with you.
stephanie
--
fuck you
--
D-:
you've got some nice stuff. keep it up.
--
please don't tell my secrets....
Previous Page12345...Next Page